002. Hero

I was a wreck, there was no point denying it. Everything was a mess and nothing in my life ever wanted to go right.


I was alone... I have always been alone. I've never let anyone in. There is an invisible wall surrounding me, protecting me from the world. People tried to break down the wall but it stood strong, people tried to get around the wall just it just pushed them away. The wall protected my heart from anymore hurt and its shields defended me from the pain of others.


My life has never been perfect. It has been full of tragedies ever since I was small. My parents never understood, my brother's never cared and my so-called friends smiled liked everything was okay but they knew it wasn't. I knew it wasn't and I knew they didn't care.


I've always felt alone and with that came depression. As stated above, my parents never understood so they didn't try to make it better. My brothers knew that something was wrong but they did nothing to help. They were dealing with their own problems.


I felt alone in the world. I felt as though I were protected in some sort of fortress. There were walls within walls that shielded me from anything and anyone. I think that was why my parents never understood and why my brothers never really cared. Why bother trying if he won't let you?


I became isolated... I was just Arthur Kirkland... the guy no one gave a shit about.


My life was falling apart... until you came along.


You broke down those walls, albeit it took you a while. I remember when we first met... you didn't stop smiling at me and you attempted to befriend me but the wall stopped you. You didn't give up though and sometimes I find myself wondering why.


Like I said, it took a while but then I realised that the walls surrounding me were starting to crumble. I started to let you in, tell you things I've never told anyone before- my problems at home, how alone I felt, and how I felt no one understood.


But you... you just smiled at me and said, "I understand you, Arthur. I understand you completely."


That gave me a feeling I've never felt before. A feeling of belonging perhaps? Or maybe it was because someone I barely knew actually cared about me?


But the walls started to crumble faster than before and soon enough the last shield defending my heart finally let it's guard down when you kissed me for the first time.


You had taken my heart and claimed it as your own and you know what? I'm glad. I'm glad I now have a sense of belonging and security. The walls were no longer in place... at least not for you.


To me you were a godsend. You came when I needed help and you were there for me when I needed someone to be there. You were there with that bright smile and comforting embrace and you were there with a shoulder to cry on when I finally allowed the dam to break. If I hadn't tried to kill myself that day, I would have never met you.


And when you told me you were my hero my heart soared, because that's exactly what you were.


My hero... my saviour.