Crack Fairytales - The Tomato Prince

Once upon a time in a land far, far away from here lived a handsome prince named Antonio. Antonio was prince of the wonderful and beautiful Tomato Kingdom and the prince had a happy life there; the citizens of the kingdom loved him and they knew that he would be a great and powerful ruler.


However, there was just one problem.


When it was time for Antonio to take the throne, he would need a Queen. A King could not rule without his Queen after all.


Antonio had met with many princesses from many far away kingdoms but not one of them was what he was looking for. Time was running out for the prince and Antonio needed to find his future queen right away. The problem was, was that he didn't know where to start looking.


But he would have to start somewhere, right?


And so he did. The prince packed essentials and informed the kingdom that he would not return until he had found a suitable Queen. His family and loyal subjects wished him well and the prince set off on his long and tiring journey.


He visited many distant lands and met many beautiful princesses. Antonio was a firm believer in love and he would not make just anyone his Queen. He needed to love them, and they needed to love him just as much... so the princesses he met now and in the past simply would not do.


It was a tiring and difficult journey for the Tomato Prince, but he wasn't going to give up. Not finding anyone in his own land, he decided to sail the seas in search of a bride elsewhere. He had made a promise to his kingdom and he would not fail them! He wasn't going to give up until he found a Queen that he loved.


And then, after almost a year of searching, Antonio found his Queen. He arrived tired and weary at the Pasta Kingdom and where he was graced with the presence of the two Pasta Princesses. The youngest, Feliciano was adorable, but he was already betrothed to the Wurst Prince Ludwig. However, the oldest princess- Lovino- was yet to be married and as soon as Antonio laid eyes on him he knew he wanted him to be his Queen.


The King of the Pasta Kingdom was welcoming and allowed the Tomato Prince to rest in his kingdom for as long as he needed. Antonio took this as the perfect opportunity to make the Pasta Princess Lovino fall in love with him.


Needless to say, that was easier said than done...


Lovino was rude and violent, often calling Antonio cruel names such as 'asshole' and 'tomato bastard'. He hated the affection Antonio showered upon him but the Prince wasn't one to give up that easily. Lovino was beautiful in his eyes and he wanted him to be his. He wasn't going to let him get away.


The princess refused his offer of engagement, he refused his gifts and didn't return any of the affection the prince gave him. Time and time again, the prince proposed and time and time again, the princess refused. The prince declared his love but the princess would always get flustered and embarrassed. But still the prince kept trying.


Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. Eventually, the princess was starting to warm up to the prince. No one had been this determined about him before and even though he would never admit it, the princess was starting to like the happy-go-lucky prince. He started to smile a little more and even though he still called him an idiot or a tomato bastard, he rather liked the affection. Antonio was never the brightest of men but even he could see that his efforts weren't completely wasted. He didn't let Lovino know that though, and he continued to plead for his hand in marriage. Despite him warming up to the prince, the princess was still unsure of whether or not he wanted to marry him.


One day, the Pasta Kingdom was attacked by the evil Eyebrow Wizard, and said wizard captured the princess Lovino and claimed him for his own. Prince Antonio refused to let his cute little Lovino be taken away from him like this so he set off to defeat the wizard.


Antonio's strength was mighty and the wizard found him a worthy opponent. The wizard sent curses and evil spells at him but the prince avoided them. He was determined to save his Lovino and he would do anything he could to achieve that. The wizard was stunned by the sheer determination the prince displayed and Antonio explained that his love for Lovino was what helped him carry on. His love for the princess was so strong that the wizard found he couldn't defeat him. His powers were rendered useless and as he realised that the power of love was stronger than the power of hate, he fled the scene, leaving the princess for the prince to rescue.


Lovino was shocked by the events and he knew then that he wanted Antonio to look after him in the future just in case the Eyebrow Wizard came back. Antonio knelt down to one knee once again and produced a ring from his pocket- a gold ring with tomato carved from precious stones. He asked for the princess's hand in marriage once again and this time, Lovino said yes.


The King of the Pasta Kingdom was grateful to the Tomato Prince for saving his princess so as a means of thanks he agreed to the marriage immediately. Happy, the prince kissed the princess (who protested with bright red cheeks and incoherent sentences) to seal the deal and that very same day, they set off back home to the Tomato Kingdom where they married and became great rulers.


And of course, as all fairy tales end... they lived happily ever after.