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January 20, 2012
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Warnings: Crack... so cracky I don't even know...


--


The world meetings were always boring and not nearly awesome enough for him to even care, yet he still insisted in going along. Prussia sighed when he arrived home from the latest meeting, tired and slightly annoyed. Of course, the ex-nation didn't have to go to these meetings but he went anyway so he could annoy the other countries.


Germany had decided to leave with Italy that afternoon so Prussia had the house to himself. He hung his jacket up on the hanger by the door and walked straight into the kitchen and grabbed himself a cold beer from the fridge. Savouring the taste, he smiled to himself and allowed himself to relax as he took another swig then walked into the living room. This cold beer and a few hours on the X-Box should be enough to make him feel relaxed, right?


However, he was not expecting to find another person sitting on the couch.


Wearing next to nothing, might I add.


Prussia spat out his beer in shock and his crimson eyes widened as he stared at the figure lying on the couch... almost like he was posing for him. The figure was indeed male (it was hard not to notice) and his somewhat shaggy blond hair fell over his eyes slightly. At first, Prussia thought it was Germany but on closer inspection, he realised that he had no idea who this person was or why he was lying on his couch.


"What the fuck?"


"Gilbert! You're home!" the male jumped up from his position on the couch and hurried towards the ex-nation. Prussia took a step back okay, how the hell did this guy know his name?


"Who the fuck are you?"


The guy's expression seemed to fall slightly and his lips puckered into a small pout, "You don't recognise me?"


"I have never seen you before in my life! The awesome me always remembers who I've met!" Prussia countered and took another step back, and his eyes narrowed again when the other male followed him.


"Silly! It's me, Gilbird!"


Wait... what?


Prussia's brain froze for a few seconds, attempting to figure out what the hell was going on. This guy... he claims he's Gilbird.


Gilbird; his awesome little fluffy yellow chick that accompanied him everywhere.


Prussia raised a hand to his mop of white hair and felt around, and surely enough the space where Gilbird usually sat was vacant. The ex-country blinked again and looked at the blond male in front of him and blinked once again.


"Y-you're Gilbird?"


"Mmhm!"


"Are you fucking kidding me? If this is some joke, kid, I swear to God..."


"No! I'm really Gilbird! See, Flying Mint Bunny was turned human too! I don't know—"


"Wait, what? Flying who now?"


"Flying Mint Bunny! You know, the mint green flying bunny that's friends with that nation with the large eyebrows!" Gilbird nodded.


"England? Pffffft!" Prussia laughed. Everyone knew that England had imaginary friends, there was no way that one of them could be turned into a human. No way.


"And he was the one that turned us all human!"


"Hahaha, imposs—wait, what? All human?" Prussia did a double take. All human? So that meant...


"Yeah! Isn't it great! How I can show you just how much I love you!" Gilbird said and took a step forward. Before Prussia could protest, he pressed their lips together in a clumsy kiss, his arm sneaking around the albino's waist. The can of beer that the former country was holding slipped out of his grasp and hit the carpeted floor with a soft thud and his crimson eyes widened. Gilbird broke the kiss and moved away just far enough so he could talk, "You're so awesome, master, for taking care of me... I wanna show you how thankful I am..."


Prussia's brain did not want to work for a few seconds and the only thought that he could process was the fact that he was called master. Gilbird called him master... and he kind of liked it. Kind of.


Everything about this, though, was so fucking wrong. He didn't even know where to begin to explain why this was so damn wrong.


"N-no!" Prussia's cheeks turned crimson and he pushed the personified form of his bird away from him and took a step back once again, "No this is fucking weird!"


"Master!" Gilbird protested and moved forward once again, "I love you! Let me show you how much I love you!"


"Nein!" Prussia shook his head vigorously, expressing his displeasure rather clearly. He didn't have a clue what was going on, he didn't understand why Gilbird was suddenly like this. He didn't have a clue why or how this happened (though he knew for some reason that England was to blame) but what he did know, was that he had to get away and he had to get away now!


He glanced to the door and quickly made to move towards it. Gilbird noticed this and he grabbed hold of Prussia's wrist before he could move any further away, "Nein! Master must stay!"


"Get the fuck off!" Prussia snapped and attempted to free his wrist but Gilbird's grip was much too strong. This surprised the ex-country, considering Gilbird was only supposed to be a small chick...


"No! Master much stay with me so I can show him how much I love him!" Gilbird protested and pulled the albino closer to him once again. Prussia's cheeks turned scarlet when he was pulled up close to the other male's chest. Gilbird smiled and leaned down again, connecting their lips in yet another kiss and almost immediately Prussia protested. He shoved at Gilbird's chest and wiped at his lips with his free hand.


"Nein!"


"I will show master just how much he means to me!" Gilbird stated. He quickly pushed the ex-country down on the couch and straddled him before he was able to escape. He smiled sweetly and pinned Prussia's wrists above his head and leaned in close to whisper in his ear.


"It's okay master, you're going to love this..."


Prussia groaned. All those years of seizing vital regions had come back to haunt him.


Karma, you fucking bitch!
so i was on a friend's livestream yesterday and we began to talk about crack pairings. i remembered the human!Flying Mint BunnyxEngland fic i wrote a while ago and then we thought of human!GilbirdxPrussia and well... i was deeply amused.

i promised to write it and because i was bored this afternoon, i decided to write it now |D

so yeah... i don't even know... O.o

i guess it's kinda a sequel to this: [link]

yeah... O.o

edit: LOL this is my 100th deviation =3= :iconlazycryplz:
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:iconlostsoullover:
lostsoullover Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Student Digital Artist
:iconenglandtrollplz:
Reply
:iconpass-the-fallen-star:
Pass-the-fallen-star Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student Writer
Ok so :iconyaygilbirdplz: hes happy

He said that fmb turnned them human or England which its 3 in the morning so whatever...what does that say about Pierre Frances bird and Spain's turtles....
Reply
:iconstrawberrybonbons:
StrawberryBonBons Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this.....is very weird.at first i thought it'd be france,lol...but...yeah....gilbird....i cried laughing though.
Reply
:iconiggyismagic:
IggyIsMagic Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Student Writer
:icongilbirdpantsplz:
Reply
:iconstrawberrybonbons:
StrawberryBonBons Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
omg that icon it made me rofl
Reply
:iconx-midnight-lady-x:
X-Midnight-Lady-X Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
OMFG AHAHAHAA XDDD LOOOOL!! XDDDD
WHAT DID I JUST READ?!! :rofl: XD
I don't know, but it was really really funny XDDD Oh my...
Well, didn't Gil get a lovely surprise when he got home~! ^.^ xDD
For some reason...I really love Human!Gilbird xD It makes me laugh quite a lot, and his personality is funny too~

..Yes Gilbert, Karma's a bitch~!
I feel kinda sorry for the guy though OTL xD I mean...he's kinda gonna have sex...with his bird XDD
And what happens when Ludwig comes in by accident or something XDD
~A
P.S....xDD I totally started writing this comment, then accidentally left this tab and went to another one for ages OTL
Reply
:iconiggyismagic:
IggyIsMagic Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012  Student Writer
You read.... what goes on in my brain .___.
seriously, this is how my mind works and to be honest, i am quite worried. also if people tempt me, 90% of the time i will actually do it xDDD
SO DON'T GIVE ME TEMPTING IDEAS ; A; FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY. ; A;;;;
oh God if Luddy comes in by accident Gilbert's pride and dignity will be gone forever... wait... he just got raped by his bird, it was gone anyway OTL
jhgvhdf poor guy... //patpat D:
Reply
:iconx-midnight-lady-x:
X-Midnight-Lady-X Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
BOOM!
Fuck....loads of my books/clothes just fell...I'm just gonna pick them up now.... :iconokayguyplz:
I got them...
...this goes on...in your brain?
...AT LEAST A STORY HAPPENS! XDD
I get random words and phrases and occasionally random pictures and songs and I start rambling to myself..
...I don't care if it's crazy...Alvaro has made his way into my brain, and I find myself talking to myself...him..me?! I dunno OTL
You get it...

...Hm... Princess Kris and his Knight in shining armour. The princess is locked away in the tower and there's...so kind of spell or curse or...yeah..
It was just this thing I had ages ago, when TRS was like...really early.. :)

I DON'T KNOW!
OTL XD
If there's ever an idea I'm too lazy to write myself~!
Yep, *waves to something out the window* Bye bye Gil's Pride~! Seeya Dignity~! ^.^

...I totally named my potato Gilbert in Biology once xD We were doing something about Starch

I know...I feel sorry for him

I have ONE more long ass reply from you, which I'll do tomorrow XD But I have 14 replies left... I'm proud of myself actually
Reply
:iconhebisuna:
hebisuna Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012
Vital seizing Karma = Rape of Gilbert OR a wonderfully cracktastic pairing

...... Okay so both
Reply
:iconiggyismagic:
IggyIsMagic Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012  Student Writer
xD
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