Warnings: Crack... so cracky I don't even know...
The world meetings were always boring and not nearly awesome enough for him to even care, yet he still insisted in going along. Prussia sighed when he arrived home from the latest meeting, tired and slightly annoyed. Of course, the ex-nation didn't have to go to these meetings but he went anyway so he could annoy the other countries.
Germany had decided to leave with Italy that afternoon so Prussia had the house to himself. He hung his jacket up on the hanger by the door and walked straight into the kitchen and grabbed himself a cold beer from the fridge. Savouring the taste, he smiled to himself and allowed himself to relax as he took another swig then walked into the living room. This cold beer and a few hours on the X-Box should be enough to make him feel relaxed, right?
However, he was not expecting to find another person sitting on the couch.
Wearing next to nothing, might I add.
Prussia spat out his beer in shock and his crimson eyes widened as he stared at the figure lying on the couch... almost like he was posing for him. The figure was indeed male (it was hard not to notice) and his somewhat shaggy blond hair fell over his eyes slightly. At first, Prussia thought it was Germany but on closer inspection, he realised that he had no idea who this person was or why he was lying on his couch.
"What the fuck?"
"Gilbert! You're home!" the male jumped up from his position on the couch and hurried towards the ex-nation. Prussia took a step back okay, how the hell did this guy know his name?
"Who the fuck are you?"
The guy's expression seemed to fall slightly and his lips puckered into a small pout, "You don't recognise me?"
"I have never seen you before in my life! The awesome me always remembers who I've met!" Prussia countered and took another step back, and his eyes narrowed again when the other male followed him.
"Silly! It's me, Gilbird!"
Prussia's brain froze for a few seconds, attempting to figure out what the hell was going on. This guy... he claims he's Gilbird.
Gilbird; his awesome little fluffy yellow chick that accompanied him everywhere.
Prussia raised a hand to his mop of white hair and felt around, and surely enough the space where Gilbird usually sat was vacant. The ex-country blinked again and looked at the blond male in front of him and blinked once again.
"Are you fucking kidding me? If this is some joke, kid, I swear to God..."
"No! I'm really Gilbird! See, Flying Mint Bunny was turned human too! I don't know—"
"Wait, what? Flying who now?"
"Flying Mint Bunny! You know, the mint green flying bunny that's friends with that nation with the large eyebrows!" Gilbird nodded.
"England? Pffffft!" Prussia laughed. Everyone knew that England had imaginary friends, there was no way that one of them could be turned into a human. No way.
"And he was the one that turned us all human!"
"Hahaha, imposs—wait, what? All human?" Prussia did a double take. All human? So that meant...
"Yeah! Isn't it great! How I can show you just how much I love you!" Gilbird said and took a step forward. Before Prussia could protest, he pressed their lips together in a clumsy kiss, his arm sneaking around the albino's waist. The can of beer that the former country was holding slipped out of his grasp and hit the carpeted floor with a soft thud and his crimson eyes widened. Gilbird broke the kiss and moved away just far enough so he could talk, "You're so awesome, master, for taking care of me... I wanna show you how thankful I am..."
Prussia's brain did not want to work for a few seconds and the only thought that he could process was the fact that he was called master. Gilbird called him master... and he kind of liked it. Kind of.
Everything about this, though, was so fucking wrong. He didn't even know where to begin to explain why this was so damn wrong.
"N-no!" Prussia's cheeks turned crimson and he pushed the personified form of his bird away from him and took a step back once again, "No this is fucking weird!"
"Master!" Gilbird protested and moved forward once again, "I love you! Let me show you how much I love you!"
"Nein!" Prussia shook his head vigorously, expressing his displeasure rather clearly. He didn't have a clue what was going on, he didn't understand why Gilbird was suddenly like this. He didn't have a clue why or how this happened (though he knew for some reason that England was to blame) but what he did know, was that he had to get away and he had to get away now!
He glanced to the door and quickly made to move towards it. Gilbird noticed this and he grabbed hold of Prussia's wrist before he could move any further away, "Nein! Master must stay!"
"Get the fuck off!" Prussia snapped and attempted to free his wrist but Gilbird's grip was much too strong. This surprised the ex-country, considering Gilbird was only supposed to be a small chick...
"No! Master much stay with me so I can show him how much I love him!" Gilbird protested and pulled the albino closer to him once again. Prussia's cheeks turned scarlet when he was pulled up close to the other male's chest. Gilbird smiled and leaned down again, connecting their lips in yet another kiss and almost immediately Prussia protested. He shoved at Gilbird's chest and wiped at his lips with his free hand.
"I will show master just how much he means to me!" Gilbird stated. He quickly pushed the ex-country down on the couch and straddled him before he was able to escape. He smiled sweetly and pinned Prussia's wrists above his head and leaned in close to whisper in his ear.
"It's okay master, you're going to love this..."
Prussia groaned. All those years of seizing vital regions had come back to haunt him.
Karma, you fucking bitch!